Rapists want what every criminal wants – to get away with it. And to go home uninjured afterwards. This means they are careful when choosing their victims. And also careful when choosing a strategy to use.
We’ve covered victim selection before, so we’ll look at rapist strategies here.
There are 2 basic strategies a rapist can use. Charm and Blitz. But don’t think of them as being different from each other. Think of them as being the extreme ends of a spectrum. What this means is they can blur, blend, and overlap.
This is your basic criminal attack strategy: overwhelm the victim. Being overwhelming accomplishes 2 things for the BG. Firstly, it makes you unable to resist effectively. You are kept so mentally off-balance that you never recover enough composure to fight back or escape or call in help. Secondly, because you’re now more “docile”, it’s easier for him/them to move you to a more private location (the secondary crime scene – very, very bad).
The Blitz strategy can be physically overwhelming, with the soon-to-be rapist hitting and beating you.
Or it can be psychologically and emotionally overwhelming, full of fear and threats, uncertainty and implied violence. An example of this is the guy who walks up to you, shows you the knife (without your friends seeing), and tells you to walk with him or he’ll kill your friends. (Notice already how the BG uses a bit of Charm – mimicking normal human interactions. He initially gets close to you by just walking up and looking like a normal friendly guy.)
Part of overwhelming you involves being fast. If everything is “all happening at once”, then it overloads your system that much more.
Fortunately the Blitz is usually pretty easy to spot. Because the BG is going to be obvious about his intentions from fairly early on, he’s going to follow standard criminal attack procedures. Fortunately this means he’s much more likely to stand out and be spotted.
The Blitz strategy is mostly going to be used by stranger rapists. Your stereotypical (but very rare) jump-out-the-bushes rapist. But not always. An acquaintance can use the Blitz strategy if he finds you in favourable conditions.
The Charm strategy, at its simplest, is just pretending to be normal. At least until he can get you alone. This is the guy who gets you alone using his “personality”.
He can be a co-worker who becomes a friend (to get himself invited over to your place for a party).
It could be the cute guy who’s flirting with you so well that you want to be alone with him.
Typically the Charm strategy will be used by acquaintance rapists. But not always. A stranger cthan use Charm to turn himself into an acquaintance. And this can happen very quickly in some cases.
The Charm strategy can be fast or it can be slow. It could be a one-night stand that turns into a rape-torture-murder. Or it could be a school friend that’s been waiting for an opportunity. But either way it requires the BG to be convincing. He has to mimic normal behaviour so well that you don’t suspect anything (or close enough that it doesn’t interfere with his plans).
The Charm is much more difficult to spot. This is because the BG has to mimic what’s normal. If he did something that alerted his last victim, then he’s going to change to be more convincing next time. The “good” ones are experts at human interactions.
They know how to make you drop your defenses.
How to flirt.
They can make an old lady laugh and open the door for them.
Convince your kid to help them look for a lost puppy? No problem.
They can be so nice and so friendly that nobody would believe he raped you after the office party? “Him? But he’s such a nice guy.”
Think of the Charm strategy like an abusive husband on fastforward. He’s friendly and sweet until he’s a friend. Then he’s charming until he’s a lover and a fiance. But once the ring is on your finger (i.e. he has a lot more control), then the charm fades bit by bit. First he’s angry. Then he shoves you. Next is the first time he hits you. But it starts with Charm, and only later turns sour. Well, the Charm rapist uses a similar process to get you alone (where he has maximum control), and then drops the act.
Spotting the Charm rapist is more difficult because they mimic what works. If anything gives the game away, next time he won’t do it. Your only window into his true intentions come at 2 times.
1 – you see him “slip”. This is when you get a fleeting glimpse at some anger or hatred or spiteful vindictiveness. He lets his persona slip and you get to see behind the curtain. Unfortunately people work on averages. So if he’s been super nice for the last 3 years/sooo sexy for the last 2 hours, then you’ll convince yourself to ignore the behavioral slip you saw. People are really good at convincing themselves everything is fine.
2 – he drops the act because the bad shit is about to start. He might drop the act as soon as the door closes behind him. Or he might wait until after he’s seduced and slept with you. Or after he’s convinced you to let him tie you up because it’ll be kinkier. It’ll depend on the rapist’s preferences and time constraints etc. But don’t expect him to drop the act until he’s certain that you have zero chance of resisting or escaping or calling in help. This is where Charm can blur into and becomes Blitz.
Resisting the Blitz strategy
I would advise you to treat this as a straight-up criminal attack. Instead of your wallet he wants to rape you, but it’s the same steps in the same process. Counter it as you would a “standard” crime:
Evade if you can;
Stop him coming closer;
Don’t engage (repeat your Tape Loop)
Step to the 3 or 9 o’ clock (orbit around him so you can check behind you without turning your back to the BG in front of you)
Be ready to run or attack first
Resisting the Charm strategy
2 things. If you catch a behavioral slip, pay careful attention. Not only to him, but to yourself. Make a note of whether you see the slip, but then write it off and go back to thinking how great this guy is. Because if you let yourself overlook/ignore/explain away a behavioral slip, then you’re not going to be watching the BG for more signs that he’s a BG. I’m not going to go into the psychology of it, but you’ll put yourself in a pattern of overlooking any and all “slips”. Basically making his job easier because now he doesn’t have to be as convincing – you’re convincing yourself for him.
Second thing: You need the ability to very quickly change your emotions and mindset. Besides him “slipping”, the only time you’re going to know you’re in deep shit is when he drops the act. And that’ll only happen when you’re already screwed. When you’re alone with him, far away from any help, and in a completely unsuspecting frame of mind.
When the door closes behind the cute guy you’re keen on, but then he slaps you so hard your teeth rattle, you’ll be confused, and in pain, and wondering what’s going on. Every second you spend puzzling out what’s happening, is a second longer you’re in his clutches.
You need to be able to switch your mental state from happiness after a great party with friends, to suspicion and resolve. You need to be able to flip the switch from swooning with hormones and horniness, to controlled rage and effective violence. In the blink of an eye.
Let’s use a Hollywood example (NSFW)
Go to your favourite movie
pirating streaming site. Look up a show called Banshee. Watch season 1 episode 3. Watch the scene where the MMA fighter starts off having consensual sex with the woman, then gets violent and rapes her. (I couldn’t find it on YouTube to stick it here.)
At what point did the woman first realise that something isn’t right? How much time did the Charm rapist give her to react? One moment it’s all Charm, the next it’s all rapist. This is how much time you get to:
A – notice everything is not all OK
B – realise you need to act
C – decide what action you’re going to take
D – actually do it
E – rinse and repeat until something starts working