Girl’s need 3 basic weapons to get through life. Weapon of choice #1 and #2 have been dealt with already. But these weapons are useless without weapon #3. Weapon 3 is like the pin to arm a grenade – if you haven’t got that part right, the whole thing is useless. So let’s pull the pin and arm you.
You are your own enemy
So there’s this study where they showed women pictures of dangerous looking bad boys. The women were adamant that if a friend got pregnant from the bad boy, that he would make a terrible father. But they were equally adamant that if they got pregnant from the same guy, he’d turn out to be a wonderful father. In short – we bullshit ourselves.
Ready for action
Rory Miller says this about having weapons: “Don’t threaten with a weapon. If it doesn’t work it will be taken away from you and used against you.” But how could someone take a weapon away from you? You could just shoot or stab them. Same reason why you’re threatening in the first place. You’re not willing to actually use the weapon. You have not convinced yourself to act.
It’s all for nothing
Weapons, training, badassery, they’re all for nothing if you can’t convinced yourself to act. If you can’t stop bullshitting yourself that everything will turn out OK, then you won’t act.
You’re outside a club and a guy jams a gun in your ribs and tells you to shut up and walk with him. You’re scared and freaked out, but he says he won’t hurt you – so you walk with him. You walk with him away from all those people who would help you if you screamed and ran. Away from all the witnesses that would make him reluctant to shoot you (because they’d all see). And you walk towards a quiet place where if he rapes and shoots you, nobody will see. So he’s more likely to actually do those things.
Why did you co-operate with him? Because you were scared, in an unusual situation. So you grabbed onto the only familiar thing you could – comfort and hope. You let yourself believe he was telling the truth when he said he wouldn’t hurt you. He knew he was lying. You knew he was lying. But you didn’t want to confront that profoundly uncomfortable thought. So you didn’t act. You didn’t scream and run. Didn’t pull your knife and slash wildly while screaming and running.
You bullshitted yourself into allowing a bad situation (guy with gun) to turn into a really bad situation (guy with gun + privacy with you).
A girl’s most important weapon
A girl’s most important weapon is the ability to stop bullshitting herself. Without that ability, the other weapons won’t help one bit.