The guy at my door could’ve walked in so easily. He could’ve been inside and hurt my kids so quick.
This is what happened
I got a knock on the door early one afternoon. I thought I was smart so I asked who it was before I opened the door. The guy said “Delivery.”
So I open the door, take the package, get the piece of paper to sign … and the delivery guy pats his pockets and comes up empty. No pen. Then he looks at me expectantly.
Crap, now I have kids in the house and a semi* unknown man at the door, and I have to leave him unattended while I go hunt for a pen? Double crap.
And he wasn’t in a standard delivery uniform either. Triple crap.
What did I do? After due consideration I picked a careful combination of the worst options possible. I told him to hold on, and I went to grab a pen, while walking sideways so I could keep the door in view the whole time.
So what happened in the end? I got the pen, signed the paper and he left.
Then I felt like an idiot. I couldn’t believe I’d left somebody I didn’t know unattended at my open front door.
What I should have done
Only afterwards did I think of the simplest solution. I should’ve said “Hang on.”, then closed and locked the bloody door while I looked for a pen. Instead I did this weird sideways shuffle to keep the door in sight while trying to get my left eye to watch the door while my right eye scanned the room for a pen.
My redeeming factors
The only good things I have to say about the whole debacle is that my wife had phoned beforehand to tell me there was a delivery on the way. So I was reasonably confident that it was an actual delivery guy.
The other good thing I have to say is that I managed to learn from this, so now I’m better prepared. I got to learn a lesson through experience, not theory, and none of my family got injured in doing so.
Oh, and I now have a pen stuck to the inside of the door.
*- I say “semi” unknown because I had be preconditioned to believe he was who he claimed to be.