How to make that hard decision you know you should

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Here’s how most people make a hard decision – they don’t. They do their best to ignore it until it’s too late, then they shrug their shoulders and say “Oh well, it wasn’t meant to be.”

For people who, like me, decided they’ve wasted enough of their lives doing nothing, that’s not acceptable. As Rob Shaul points out, not making a decision is making a decision.

Thank you Rob for you fantastic article on how to make hard decisions. I found myself putting off a tough decision since yesterday, and today your article appeared in my inbox. Today I sucked it up and did what I knew I needed to do.

I also wanted to thank you for your guidelines on, not only how to make a hard decision, but which option you should choose.

Take control of your life

I’m tired of not being in control of my life. A while ago I decided to take back as much control as I could. And confronting truths like “not making a decision is making a decision”, have made me realise the person I have to take back control from, is me.

Or as Carl Jung (the famous psychologist) puts it:

“Until the unconscious becomes conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”

Not making a decision is making a decision, you just don’t admit it to yourself. And you know what, the son of a bitch was right, it does direct your life and you do call it fate.

“It wasn’t meant to be” is the war-cry of someone who has let their unconscious direct their lives.

Thank you Rob Shaul

Here are some of my favourite lines from Rob Shaul’s article:

“Big Decisions”
“Big” decisions pit our “hearts” (emotions) versus our “minds” (objective thought) and we go round and round in endless decision loops.

Below are some tools and lessons I’ve personally used or learned in making my own “big” decisions and advising others with theirs.

1) If you know what you are doing now is wrong. Stop doing it, even if you don’t have something else lined up to take it’s place.

This directly applies to career/job choices and relationships. Stopping the wrong will force you to begin the journey to discover the right. Often people find themselves in a “rut” – they know what they are doing isn’t right, but it doesn’t hurt enough to quit.

Know that a “rut” is simply a grave open at both ends. Staying in these situations past their due – job or relationship –  will lead to bitterness and deepening discontent.

2) Not making a decision, is a decision.
Putting off a big decision always comes at a cost, often in the form if declining options and missed opportunities. In this way no decision is a decision.

3) Deciding against integrity always comes with a significant, painful cost.

4) If integrity isn’t an issue, and it comes down to your “Head” vs. your “Heart,” always go with your Heart.
I’ve yet to meet someone who went with their heart and regretted it, but I’ve met several who went with their “head” and have.

Likewise, if it comes down to “safe” vs. “exciting,” always go with “exciting.”

Want to make your life better?

Go read Rob’s article:

QUIET PROFESSIONAL: TOOLS FOR MAKING HARD

DECISIONS

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