This post is to help you not get raped, help keep you out of jail and help you not kill a friend or family member.
To begin with, we’re not concerned with the Bad Guy’s fucked up personality. Anybody who wants to talk about social reform programs as a way to fix the problem, or who wants to distribute pamphlets depicting what are and are not appropriate ways to interact with women (and men and children) is most welcome to go read something else at this point.
Next, let’s get the soft squishy feelings out of the way. When you go buy KFC for supper you are purchasing some chicken meat (apparently). That means that at some point your meat was attached to a living, breathing (pooping) chicken which started life as the cutest, cuddliest little ball of cheeping yellow fluff. And somebody cut its head off and hung it upside down to drain the blood out of it to make sure the meat was more tender. Life is harsh, and most of us have been insulated from this reality for too long. Actually, life isn’t harsh, life is just life. We’ve become so soft that what is natural now seems harsh in comparison to our comfort blankies and adult colouring books. Today we are about to delve into the topic of avoiding, preventing and/or escaping someone who is going to rape you. If you have any reservations about maybe having to hurt this person or his feelings, then I recommend you go sit in a room by yourself and imagine what it would feel like if they succeeded. Then reconsider if you’re willing to hurt somebody.
Ok, with that out of the way.
Why are stranger rapes easier to deal with?
We’ve all heard of the two types of rape: stranger rape (a.k.a. jump out of the bushes rapist), and acquaintance rape (relative, co-worker, friend). This boils down to the social/asocial manifestations of the same act. Just as it’s important to know if it’s a social violence or asocial thing when that guy wants to punch you on the nose, it’s also important to know the difference between social rape and asocial rape. This is because the two different types of rape have vastly different dynamics. They develop in different ways, and have very different counters. Most people have heard that some large percentage of rapes are acquaintance rape. Sadly enough that’s true (at least in countries that aren’t experiencing warfare). Unfortunately everyone’s more terrified of the jump out of the bushes type because it seems scarier. This is because the onset of violence is sudden and explicit – there’s no doubt that it’s a Bad Guy who’s out to hurt you. So it seems scary. Actually I consider that a blessing (disguised as a scary Bad Guy). This is a blessing because you know that you have to act or be raped. There’s no messing about, there’s no middle ground. And the stats are encouraging: the rate of injury among victims is the same whether they resisted or not. As in, resisting won’t make him hurt you more – he’s already going to hurt you – and not resisting won’t stop you getting injured. So the “Don’t resist him or he’ll hurt you!” crowd can have a nice steaming cup of STFU. He’s going to rape you! What the fuck do you mean if you resist he’ll hurt you?! Does that mean if you submit he’ll see what a nice person you are and leave you alone? Submit and he’ll rape you! How is that not getting hurt?
One study looked at resistance strategies and completed vs. unsuccessful rapes. No resistance lead to 93,5 % of attempted rapes being completed (i.e. the rape happened). Non-forceful verbal resistance (I take this to mean pleading) lead to an increase in completed rapes, 95,8 %. Running away (or trying to) dropped rapes completed to 55 %. Forceful verbal resistance (which I take to mean SHOUTING AND SCREAMING LIKE A SONVABITCH) dropped that number to only 50 % of rapes completed. Physical resistance lead to only 45,5 % of rapes completed (Zoucha-Jensen J., Coyne A., The Effects of Resistance Strategies on Rape. American Journal of Public Health Vol 83, no. 11, Nov 1993).
Another study (Kleck G., Sayles S., Rape and Resistance. Social Problems Vol. 37, No. 2, May 1990) (I had to register to get access) looked at rape resistance strategies and took the “physical resistance” category and broke it into constituent parts, i.e. unarmed resistance, resistance with knife, with gun, or with “other weapon”. This study found that resistance with an “other” weapon dropped completed rapes to only 9,9 % of the time. Resisting a rapist with a gun dropped the completion of rapes to 0,09 % of the time. When the person who was attacked resisted with a knife, rapes were completed 0,0 % of the time. Compare that to not resisting (93,5 %) or pleading/arguing (95,8 %). Take a moment to dwell on this.
Please note that comparing stats from different studies in different areas in different years is not good practice. But for purposes of illustration it’ll do.
Oh, by the way, that second study found no change in how much/how often the victim was injured (besides the rape) if they resisted or submitted. So whether you resist or not you’re likely to undergo the same amount of injury. Apart from the extra injury of being raped if you submit that is.
The 7 steps to escape rape
So, without further ado I give you Gabe Suarez’s 7 rape prevention tips (what I would call rape escape tips – because this approach assumes the attack has begun or is imminent):
- Carry a weapon…preferably a Glock everyfriggingwhere you go. If the sign says “no guns” that is for other people. Concealed means concealed.
- You are a girl. Girls can shoot any dude that threatens them. They are girls.
- If you can’t afford a Glock, get a big sharp knife. Practice stabbing things with anger with that knife so you get it right.
- With the Glock, shoot ’em in the face. With the knife stab them anywhere soft, but groin, guts, armpits, throat are good places to start.
- Practice being emotionally upset and crying hysterically afterward. You are a girl…its expected. And everyone will hate the dead would-be rapist for making you cry.
- Oh yeah. Don’t go stupid places, with stupid people, to do stupid things, at stupid times of night. You should be studying to get good grades and make lots of money to buy guns from me.
- Don’t listen to any commie, no-load, crap for brains administrator or police official that would tell you not to follow this advice.
I was planning on having ten points but these seven seem to cover it.
This is an over simplistic approach that I dislike for avoidance and prevention reasons, but which I thoroughly applaud for escaping from rape situations. It’s also much easier to get women to consider advice like when discussing stranger rape. Bad Guy jumps out of bushes, tries to drag you behind bush/into empty alleyway/building/room/car/wherever. You scream (a lot) (and loud) while pulling your weapon (that you’ve hopefully practised with a whole bunch) and (if he’s still attacking you) stab/shoot/beat him until he stops trying to hurt you (dead/unconscious/backing away/curling up into ball to protect himself). When he stops, you stop (attacking him) and start running while you’re screaming. I think there is very little in this world that beats the Suarez approach to stopping stranger rape. Reread the stats (look up the originals you lazy git, maybe I’m lying to you) about how not resisting gets you raped, pleading gets you more likely raped, but resisting, especially with weapons, gets you out of the situation unraped. Then tell me you think Suarez/s solution is harsh. Well so is rape, so rather harsh to him than harsh for you.
Just don’t be like the lady who got attacked on a hiking trail, fought the guy to a Mexican standoff (he was too winded to keep fighting). Then he told her that he’d stop and would take her back to civilisation, but he was worried that she’d hurt him so he just wanted to tie her hands to reassure himself. So she let herself be tied up. After three days of being raped and tortured while being tied to a tree he decided to beat her to death (with a baseball bat or tyre iron – I can’t remember). He told the cops how he’d tricked her when taking them to find her remains after he got arrested.
De-escalate or deter?
Marc MacYoung said something simple but very profound in his excellent In the name of self defense. He said social violence can be de-escalated, but asocial violence must be deterred. Usually I’m quite fond of social script tests (you try a social script, such as apologising and trying to disengage. If the guy doesn’t respond with a social script, then you’ve confirmed this is asocial and can respond with deterrence rather than de-escalation). But with stranger, jump-out-of-the-bushes, interrupted-him-robbing-my-house type rape (asocial), there’s no ambiguity about his actions. This means that it’s easier for you to flip your “Go!” switch. Basically, if it gets to the point where the BG has selected you, interviewed you and is positioning himself for the attack, then it’s too late to avoid or prevent him, your only hope lies in deterring him (with the promise of great bodily harm should he continue on his course of action). To paraphrase Al Capone: A skinny, frail old lady screaming “STOP ATTACKING ME!” while holding a very large knife is much more effective at deterring a would-be rapist than a skinny, frail old lady screaming alone. The added benefit here is that this also works great if the guy is trying to kill you, kidnap you or just beat you into hospital instead of rape you.
Rape Avoidance and Prevention
Fortunately there’s no magic skill-set needed to avoid and prevent stranger rape. There’s little difference between someone jumping out of the bushes to rape you compared to someone jumping out of the bushes to rob you. Yes, you may let the guy take your wallet peacefully enough, but you’d use your knife if he decides to try take you to a secondary location or tells you to take your pants off. But that’s escape. Avoidance and prevention is the same old standard stuff I like to preach. Awareness (and avoidance) of fringe areas; watching for interviews and positioning setups; boundary setting and enforcement (MUC/PESTS); running to safety; NOT WEARING FUCKING HEADPHONES WHILE JOGGING (a.k.a. Signalling to every BG that you’re safe for him to attack) (ditto for texting, phone calls, and thinking about your shopping list) – i.e. getting out of your own private universe where you’re the centre of everything and actually looking around and profiling people!
If you want some education on spotting BG’s, better than my stuff, go and read MacYoung’s articles on interviews (http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/interview.htm), positioning (http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/positioning.htm) and shadow dancing (http://www.nononsenseselfdefense.com/shadow_dancing.htm). Then read everything else on his site.
So there you have it. Stranger rapes tend to develop exactly the same as a “normal” crime like muggings:
- The BG interviews you for suitability as a victim
- DISTANCE INTERVIEW: he could watch you from a distance to see how much you pay attention to potential ambush spots that you walk past; how you react to people coming too close to you; how absorbed you are in your own world; what body language you’re displaying – will you be a submissive victim (very withdrawn, meek and shrink from contact); do you exhibit excessive bravado (the idiot who think he can “fight” his way out of anything (until he’s hit from behind with a brick)) – i.e. How easy it is to sneak up on you, and how safe will it be for him to attack?
- CLOSING INTERVIEW: the BG might just walk up to you and start a conversation. i.e. Do you let him get within attack distance and can he sucker you into a social script (so that you’re distracted by your own thoughts, and you’re likely to try responding with another social script (i.e. with no or ineffective violence)
- He’ll position himself to maximise his advantages and minimise your’s. Then if all goes well (for him/them) he’ll attack.
- TRAPPING: the BG could walk up to you so that he’s trapped you against your car (i.e. did you see him coming and move so that you went back to safety or so you weren’t going to get trapped)
- SURROUNDING: the Bad Guys could surround you to cut off your escape options (i.e. did you let it happen or did you see the BGs start spreading out, if they weren’t already, and detour away/around the situation (not necessarily only them))
- SURPRISE: the BG/BGs can just plum sneak up behind you (why do you think they check first to see if you ever look over your shoulder?) (i.e. did you check over your shoulder, see them and then change direction/position to keep them in sight the whole time, even when they changed direction to try fool you?)
Rape Avoidance, Prevention and Escape for asocial (stranger) rape
So how do you avoid and prevent stranger rape? Same way as muggings and the sort: you show situational awareness (i.e. the BGs can see that you know what you need to look out for) and if they do approach, you shadow dance with them. So how do you escape stranger rape (if the BG still goes for the attack, despite you best shot at avoiding and preventing it)? You show a great willingness to use overwhelming violence to hurt/damage/injure them as much as is needed to affect your escape. And I’ll give you a hint, using your weapon on them is one of the better ways to convince them that you’re actually willing to use your weapon on them (e.g. pulling your knife, looking very upset with them, and trying your very hardest to stick it into soft parts of their bodies). Much more convincing than pulling a weapon, looking scared and yelling repeatedly that you’ll use it, only to yell again (this time you really, really mean it) when they come closer. So, how do you escape from stranger rape? You get right with your own mind to make sure that killing them is not some unpleasant necessary evil, but that they are the evil, and that you will suffer no pangs of regret in ending them if they try rape you. They can have you wallet (easy to replace that, plus, you needed that cute one you saw at the shop anyway), but you draw the line at anything past possessions.
Daily Safety – PreDefence